Some rants and raves from Latino wannabe SRM Genius who calls me an internet tough guy and tries to threaten me online when I'm a very easy person to find in real life. Here's how REAL internet tough guys articulate themselves online and express their inner most feelings in the most mature way possible. It's very easy to do on the internert because you can curse a lot and make the pretention of being HARD without having to actually man up to the individual you're speaking about. EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO FIND IN REAL LIFE SO IF SOMEONE REALLY WANTED TO SE ME IT WOULD'NT BE HARD TO GET UP WITH ME. So here's "Tough Guy 101" a class from SRM Genius on how to prove your toughness online:




Shut your fake #### up, you know nothing about me, and you'd be best served watching the way you speak to me lest I come find your wannabe ####. You think I ain't a real Hispanic come test me punk, I'll show you why your #### #### WANTED to be cool with all the chicos. See you have never been the only non-black person in a group, although from the look and sound of you, you are probably the LEAST black wherever you are. You wouldnt understand that black boys called ANY non-black person a white boy in my neighborhood you ignorant ####. Just like if a black hispanic was in a group of white people they'd call him the black guy, that is not a contradiction, ####.

Tu eres un maricon de mierda. Me cago en ti y la #### que te pario. Ben busca me si eres un hombre verdadero mariconcito. Tu habla mucho mierda de tras de una computadora.

Go get it translated from one of your "Latino Brothers" you piece of trash.


Come square up in person like a man punk. I wish you would but you're an internet tough guy like everyone else around this place. I spit in your face you worthless heap of flesh and bones.



If you haven't noticed, my absolute favorite team to hate on is the Patriots. You talk of fickle fans? You may be too young to remember, but nobody used to go to Pats games, they were the doormat of the AFC East along with (ironically) the Colts. And just a few years back you Bostonians were wanting to be rid of the likes of Manny Ramirez and Paul Pierce. Enough of the Hypocrisy.

I'm not defending Kobe, I just hate Shaq and he's a punk. He said he's better than Kareem, Please. Kobe probably knows what his #### taste for all I know or care. I just think Shaq is an overgrown ####.

     versus   
 
                                             When crime does pay

I met Darryl Strawberry once.

I was working the front desk as a night auditor at the Doubletree hotel in Norfolk, Virginia during one of Darryl's journey's to the minor leagues. His team was staying at the hotel, and after a game in which he showed why he was way too good to be playing "Triple A", he and his teammates came through the front lobby. No bodyguards, no press, no legions of fans, just Darryl and a couple of his minor league teammates. I walked over to him shook his hand and told him that I was honored to meet him and that it was a pleasure to watch him play, both sincere comments. I mean, here was Darryl Strawberry a man who could do one of things that sports reporters for eons had said was one of the hardest things to do in all of sports, hit a major league fastball, and he could do it with ease, casually walking through the Doubletree hotel in Norfolk, wearing a pair of jeans, a jean shirt and some loafers, looking not like a god, or a legend, but just looking like Darryl Strawberry.

My man-love was obviously very evident as one of the young ladies working with me said that I was awfully excited to see him, and by the way isn't he a drug addict; she would go on to ask. In my lifetime I've met a lot of drug addicts, as well as drug dealers, but none of the dealers and addicts that I've met ever won a World Series, that is, except Darryl Strawberry.

They say that which doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.

If Darryl Strawberry was playing professional baseball today, he would certainly be the recipient of a one-hundred million dollar contract, easily. Darryl Strawberry was a natural. He was an athlete so extremely talented that he played a career worthy of hall of fame mention in spite of playing on what was probably the equivalent of half of a body. Barry Bonds on the other hand has been playing most of his career with the equivalent of a body and a half.

 Society is not made up of Barry Bonds'; it is made up of Darryl Strawberrys'. Most of society has to work for a living, often in jobs, or careers that we did not necessarily plan on performing when we were children. Our delusions of grandeur faced to meet head on with the realities of life and our own internal failures. Yet, we try to put on a straight face and go about our daily lives, with the hope that one day, our ship will come in and we can be rescued from the nightmare that is our ####-hum daily grind. Some of us enjoy rooting at sporting events and supporting our beloved teams as an escape from the harshness and struggle of trying to keep our jobs, and make a way for our families. Most professional athletes do not have to face those anxieties in their professional careers. Barry Bonds will not ever have to worry about how he's going to feed his family, that is, unless he shops at the same supermarket that Latrell Spreewell does. Darryl Strawberry did manage to improve the quality of life for his family if not himself, even though he never received the type of salary that today's juiced up sluggers earn. While that's neither his fault nor the fault of today's players, it just seems a little unfair, but then again that's been the story of Darryl's life.

We all watched as Darryl Strawberry continued to trash his future, place his and his family's lives in jeopardy, and let illegal drugs suppress his god given talent. Yet he still managed to be a force at the plate wherever, and whenever he played the game, picking up a couple of world championships along the way, something that to date Mr. Bonds has yet to accomplish, and therein lies the paradox of Darryl and Barry.

I can imagine Darryl Strawberry living  in a small town similar to where my family lives in Windsor, North Carolina, working at the Perdue Chicken processing plant down the street, spending his summer  evenings grilling some hotdogs and burgers at the local little league games, telling all who would listen his war stories about the big leagues. I can picture it because he was almost doing just that. That's what all of us Darryl Strawberry wannabees do everyday. I would sit there with Darryl, share some beer and burgers, and never once ask about the cocaine, the prostitutes, the spousal abuse or any of the decadence that went on his life. I wouldn't ask him about it because I already know that story. I would just be enamored, and ecstatic that one of us got his fifteen minutes of fame, and has the hardware to prove it.

I would relish being his friend, the guy who picked him up off a nightclub floor one night when he was in drunken stupor. I would long to be the guy that Darryl would call to come bail him out of jail at three a.m. for a D.U.I. Darryl, in return, would teach my son how to hit a curveball, and allow me to pick his brain about other players he played with and against, and how it felt to play in Yankee Stadium, and I would be so thankful for the opportunity to be that close to greatness. I don't think that I would've gotten the same type of bonding by being Barry Bonds' chauffeur or butler.

Darryl Strawberry abused illegal drugs, so did Barry Bonds. The drugs that Darryl Strawberry indulged in forced him to play on only partial potential. His vices always ensured that he would never be able to play to his full potential. The drugs that Barry Bonds indulged in, allowed him to reach his full potential and surpass it. The funny thing about it all is that it appears that Barry Bonds still played on a more level playing field than Darryl Strawberry ever did. I don't believe for one second that Bonds had an edge against, Mark Mcgwire, Jason Giambi, Jose Canseco, and Sammy Sosa among others. No in fact, I believe that those, as well as much of the current players on major league baseball rosters are all playing on a level field, which is why I don't care if they are juiced or not, and I think that's enough said about that. Baseball needed the Macquires, the Bonds', the Sosas' to save the game, because as I stated earlier, the kids of today don't have time for real baseball, they are too busy creating their own rosters on a PlayStation somewhere.

In video game terms, Barry Bonds is like a player with a 101 rating out of a possible 100, unstoppable, un-pitchable, automatic. Darryl Strawberry would be like having a player with a 55 rating that you have to master his swing to hit a homerun, and that mastery will only come with hours upon hours of practice, but once you got the swing down pat, it too would be automatic.

I can imagine what it must be like to be like Darryl Strawberry, despite your best efforts always falling short of the mark, and disappointing all of the people who love you despite being given chance after chance to succeed, but being like Barry Bonds is somewhat different. I don't know what it's like to be like Barry Bonds. I will never have to go to work in front of thirty-thousand people every day, many of whom despise me, and compete against superstars with millions of dollars at stake. To do what he did at his age as well, is really unfathomable.  It is admirable, and impressive to see how a talent like Bonds manages to thrive in that kind of pressure cooker environment, even if it took a Popeye impersonation to get the job done. Unfortunately, as great of a player as Barry Bonds was, to me and many others, he's no Darryl Strawberry.      

Finally the draft is over, so now we will endure a long hot summer of speculation on who made great moves and who slit their own wrists. Here, of course is my humble (and sure to be mocked) assessment of:

The lottery picks:

1. I understand Chicago taking Rose #1. He's a hometown boy, he's a winner and their PG's have been playing soft. Still, all of this nonsense about him being the best player in the draft is absurd. Beasley was far and away the best player in the NCAA all of last season and it was a forgone conclusion that he would be the overall #1 until Memphis' great NCAA tourney run. If Beasley had Rose's teammates he would've beaten Kansas in the title game.

2. Riley was almost too smart for his own good when as the draft got closer he started waffling on Beasley. Lucky for the Heat they made the right move. In one season Marion will be gone (if not sooner). In two seasons Wade will be gone (if not sooner). Beasley is a natural scorer and while Mayo will indeed be a star in the league, there will be other PG's available in two seasons, interior scorers will be less plentiful.

3. I like Kevin Love very much, but if McHale was gonna go for an interior player he needed more size, and while it's hard to knock this pick, Mayo along with Foye and Jefferson would've given the Wolves more threats offensively.

4. The best possible scenario for Seattle (Oklahoma?). They needed to surround the defensively challenged Durant with defensive players on the perimeter and Westbrook fits that need perfectly. Bayless would've taken shot attempts away from Durant and clearly the Sonics are looking for KD to be in Kobe mode for his career.

5. Memphis is headed nowhere fast. Mayo is a great talent, but unless they have some plan to get some interior scoring, Mayo is going to exit stage left at the first opportunity. They keep drafting guards (Lowry, Conley, Mayo) and odn't forget they also have Crittendon. Maybe, hopefully, another deal is on the near horizon.

6. Why not draft Garllinari here? He's no less than the fifth best scorer in this year's draft. The impact players were off the board, well maybe not all of them and the Knicks need to rejuvinate the fan base more than anything since winning basketball games isn't going to be easy as long as Marbury is on the roster. New York is essentially Little Italy so they'll love him in Gotham.[ Side note: I'm amazed that Brandon Rush, who was supposed to be a top five pick two seasons ago faded so far. I would've loved to see the Knicks go with an upperclassman with some intestinal fortitude here. Rush will be a star in the NBA for years to come, this was the Knick's chance to show some real draft insight and they blew it.]

7. Eric Gordon, like someone else said earlier, is a an undersized choke artist. He's not a skilled enough ball handler to play the 1, and if he thinks that he'll be getting that jump shot off against 6' 6" SG's in the NBA he's sadly mistaken. A lot of hype behind this kid, but I really didn't see much of an NBA game while in colege. Rip me if you want, there are always huge busts in the top ten, Gordon will be one of them. The Clippers are the perect place for him, he's one Al Thornton punch in the grill away from heading to Europe.

8. Joe Alexander looks like he could be a real good NBA player. He reminds me of Rex Chapman and Chapman was a solid pro. He goes to the rim hard and has a natural knack for scoring. If the Bucks can find time for him, RJ and Mo Williams on the florr at the same time, they'll be a contender for the post season again. A good replacement for Bobby Simmons.

9. The Bobcats could've gotten the same deal from Toronto that Indiana got, instead they get D.J. Augustin. Even if they are shopping Felton, I don't think that Augstin is any better than Acie Law was last year. I don't get it.

10. The Nets are gearing up for the arrival of King James and they are doing a very good job of it. This team is huge now and they have Devin Harris running the point. This is the team of the future in the East.

11. The Pacers have reinvented themselves overnight and getting T.J. Ford, Hibbert and Rush after losing O Neal was a great move. Look out for this team..wait a minute...who's coaching them? Oh yeah Jim O Brien!!!  They're back in a big way. I really like this team now.

12. I don't know much about Jason Thompson aside from what I heard Jay Bilas say, but it's not like the Kings were planning on contending anyway. Why waste the money on someone who'll want $60 million in three seasons?

13. The Blazers end up with Bayless, who will piss off Barndon Roy sooner than later. A lot of people were high on Bayless, I was not one of them. He's a great colegiate scorer but has not shown to be a great passer, which is what he must learn to do first and foremost on a team with a former ROY and the supposed second coming of Duncan.

14. Baron Davis is soooooo gone.

Other notes:

Is it me, or do the Utah Jazz go out of their way to draft white players?

Tiago Spliier is not coming to San Antonio right now, but how many people realize that Luis Scola was on their roster last season? This team may actually have seen it's last hurrah.

Why didn't the Wizards make themselves busy with trades for picks? Do they really think that team is going to contend after losing three straight years to the One Man James Gang?

Wow! Have the Suns done an about face or what?!

Where is Coutney Lee going to find shots on the Magic's roster? Shouldn't they have found a big body to put around Howard?

Detroit you are the first team officialy on the (trade) clock.

Anyone who has ever read anything that I've written about Kobe Bryant knows that I have been a huge fan of his...and I still am.

Kobe has treated us to some of the most memorable moments the NBA has seen in the post Jordan era.

Unfortunately he has also given his fans some disappointment to go along with his hoops greatness.

While his infidelity, smugness and often abrasive personality has given rise to quite a bit of unnecessary venom from sportswriters and NBA fans, his basketball skill has usually been unchallenged.

This season had been a sort of coronation of Bryant as he finally seemed to come from under the shadow of the baggage he had accumulated over the years; The Shaquille O'Neal trade, the Eagle Colorado sexual assault trial, the so called selfish on-court play as well as his willingness to throw his teammates and management under the bus.

He won his first NBA MVP award and he finally led his team back to the NBA Finals in a season that began with his tenure as a Laker in serious doubt.

Bryant and the Lakers' blitzkrieg of the Western Conference in this year's post season had many basketball pundits etching L.A.'s name on the Larry O'Brien trophy before they had even stepped on the floor for Game 1 against the Celtics, present company included.

Even after the Lakers went down two games to zero, most people thought that once Kobe went home to play in front of his Hollywood pals, the series would dramatically alter course.
It almost did.

After wining an ugly Game 3 at home, the Lakers started Game 4 playing as if the Boston Celtics didn't even belong in the same league as them. Then came the biggest collapse in Finals history and the writing was on the wall. Surely Number 23 would never have given up a 24 point lead at home.

Like the guy in the GMC commercials that saturated the Finals coverage said;
Kids in America don't walk around with shirts that say "I almost won.

This was supposed to be Kobe's year. It was all laid out for him. The stars appeared to be aligned in just the correct sequence for us to witness another Jordanesqe moment of KB 24 as we all prepared for the inevitable tears and champagne that would finally solidify Bryant as being truly "like Mike".

But alas, there will be no cheers in Tinseltown. No parades down Rodeo Drive. No I told you so from Kobe or his legion of fans.

After Game 4's meltdown, the Lakers managed to win an even uglier Game 5 to send the series back to Boston with a chance to make history. More importantly a chance for Kobe to make his own history.

No team had ever come back from a 3-1 deficit to win the Finals. Surely if there was a player who could pull off the impossible, it was the guy who once scored 81 points in a single game. The guy who once outscored the Western Conference Champions by himself over three quarters. The guy who once scored over 50 points in four straight games.

The moment was there for Kobe to seize and KB24 fans waited with baited breath to say to the world we told you so. But the moment never came.

Bryant nailed three shots from the behind the arc in the early moments of the first quarter in Game 6 and I thought to myself, those shots were pure liquid.

I had flashbacks of Jordan dropping 63 on Bird and Co. in 1986.

But that was it. The highlights were over as Boston's suffocating defense and spirited bench play eventually ran the Lakers out of the gym by halftime.

Forget the controversy surrounding the officiating. Forget the fact that the Celtics did in fact play superior defense than Lakers, (who looked like they were studying the George Karl defensive play book). Forget the fact that Doc Rivers was schooling Phil Jackson on the bench. Forget even the fact that Kobe's supporting cast never really showed up for the Finals.

I, we, were waiting for the moment when Bryant said forget this, it's time for me to take charge.

The moment(s) never came. The victory by sheer willpower never materialized. In these Finals, Kobe played a little too much team ball and too little 'Black Mamba' ball.

Kobe may very well be the most talented player to ever lace 'em up, he certainly has the statistics to argue the point.

But unless he rattles off about three titles in a row, these Finals will be the blemish that all of his detractors will point to as the moment we all had to face the fact that maybe Kobe really isn't like Mike.

Bryant still has a lot of basketball left in his tank, but with younger players like LeBron James, Chris Paul and Kevin Durant hot on his tail, his window is closing sooner rather than later.

Maybe Kobe fans should just take the 81 point game, the scoring titles, the three rings with Shaq, the MVP award and enjoy it, because maybe we won't get much else.

All in all a superb, Hall-of_fame career without question.

But when Kobe had a chance to become a legend, well, he just didn't make it happen.

Not yet anyway, maybe not ever.

Finally, it's time for Jackson and the Lakers to get out of Kobe's way


True to my word, I have not watched games 3 & 4 of the NBA Finals in my own silent protest to the officiating (like anyone cares).

So I turn on my computer the other morning and see that the Lakers blew a 24 point lead in losing to the Celtics in game 4. Of course I'm moderately stunned.

I say moderately because anyone who watches the NBA regularly knows that everybody goes on a run. Even in the horrendously officiated Game 2, the Celtics allowed a 20+ point lead to dwindle to two points in the fourth quarter before closing out Kobe & Co. at home.

So now that the Celtics have all but clinched the 2008 Championship, the series just got interesting.

If I were a betting man (which I would be if I had Charles Barkley's money) I would certainly take the Celtics in five.

I just realized how painful it must be for David Stern to hear the words betting and Finals in the same sentence.

However, since I don't have Barkley, or Donaghy money for that matter, I'm going with the Lakers in seven. Please, stop laughing.

Hey, what do I have to lose? Right?

See, I think right about now, that's what Kobe Bryant is saying to himself.

"What have I got to lose?"

Already, Black Mamba has been knocked off his pedestal by every sportswriter on the web.

Kobe isn't like Mike, Stop the MJ comparisons now, etc. etc. etc.

But as anyone who has ever rooted for KB 24 knows, it is always when his back is against the wall and people are spewing the most venom at him, that he does something to amaze and astound us.

Case(s) in point:

#1. Can anyone tell me what team Smush Parker plays for off the top of your head? If your answer is Miami then you are incorrect. The last roster that featured Parker's name was the L.A. Clippers and there are six point guards listed on the Clippers' roster so his appearance really doesn't say much.

Why is that important?

Because this is the guy who was the starting point guard for the Lakers' two previous post season runs which included a 2005-06 series where the Lake Show (up 3 games to 1 at one point) was one Tim Thomas three pointer away from sending MVP Steve Nash and his fast break offense into an early vacation.

Kobe was heated that he was playing on team that had Kwame Brown and Smush Parker as starters and he willed that team into the post season by himself (twice) and yet Nash, who was playing alongside two other All-Stars (Marion, Stoudamire) was being hailed as the NBA's Most Valuable Player.

By now Kobe was fed up with being blamed for everything that was wrong with L.A. and singlehandedly torched the league for two straight seasons and while many writers still wanted to bury the guy, the other players in the league began to bow down to Kobe, Don Corleone style, lest they be on the receiving end of some thing like....

#2. In December 2005 The Lakers beat the Mavericks 112-90 and Kobe outscored the entire Mavs team over three quarters.

Of course Bryant was blasted in the media, not for scoring 62 in three quarters, but rather for depriving us sports fans of an opportunity to see someone challenge Chamberlain's 100 point game.

Quick note: Kobe scored 42 first half points against the Wizards in Jordan's last game with that team and nobody complained about that because the haterade hadn't started yet. Shows you how fickle sports writers are.

So despite abusing the Mavs, the eventual Western Conference champs that year, in an impressive display of scoring, Bryant had to endure the wrath of a Shaquille O'Neal jock strap riding media who now suggested that Bryant was selfish for not scoring more. So what does Kobe do the quiet the critics who accused him of selfishly sitting out the 4th quarter against Dallas?

#3. Yeah, we all know what happened on January 22, 2006. Barely a month after being slammed for not finishing off the Dallas Mavericks, Bryant exploded for 81 points against the Toronto Raptors scoring 55 points in the second half. Can you imagine if he had been trying to take over in the first two quarters? Did that silence the critics? Of course not. Did Kobe care? of course not, he had proved his point...again. Which brings us to...

#4. The 2007-08 off season is dominated by the fact that Bryant is tired of playing against teams in the post season with multiple All-Stars and he has to play against them with guys named Kwame, Bynum and Smush so he wants out. The Lakers, who are not dumb enough to trade both Shaq and Kobe, hold tight and wait to see if they can get their pal Jerry West to facilitate the second biggest steal of the season (McHale, Garnett, Boston, Al Jefferson and the cast from Seinfeld?..come on now). Of course West does his Monty Hall impersonation and viola! In a season where everyone thought that Kobe would be wearing a Bulls uniform by October, Bryant wins the MVP, makes All-Defensive first team and carries the Lakers to the NBA Finals.

So now Kobe is here, down 3-1 to Boston.

Just like my making this insane prediction, Kobe finally can come into games 5, 6 and 7 and not care whether or not his teammates get their touches. He doesn't have to care about the Jordan comparisons. He couldn't care less what Phil Jackson will have to say during timeouts. Just like when he went for 81 against Toronto, there are times when Phil Jackson knows that even he has to just get out of Kobe's way and let him do what he does best.

Despite Boston being up 3 games to 1, trust me everyone of the Celtics' players in the back of their minds does not want to be the one having to deal with Kobe on Sunday, even Paul Pierce. It's Mamba time.

Don't forget that in 2004, down 3-1 to the Yankees in the ACLS, the Red Sox became the first team in MLB history to rally from that deficit to win a League Championship. That's the thing about 'odds', sooner or later they are bound to reverse course. That's why they are called 'odds' and not inevitabilities.

Sooner or later somebody has to come back from a 3-1 deficit to win it all. The odds say that if has to happen sooner or later.

Well, these Finals feature Kobe Bryant and if I were a betting man....