What happens when you combine a 23 round on-line draft with a Wednesday night in a league of 10 featuring 5 married guys (3 of which have newborns) and 1 enaged guy who had to give his fiance not just a ring, but his manhood as well? Well you get the WORST FANTASY DRAFT EVER!

As I said, the league is 10 teams deep, head to head matchups and you have to start two relief pitchers each week - it's essentially the same group of guys that have done it for years now. I had the third pick, which isn't ideal to start with, in a snake draft you either want to pick 4-5-6 so that you're consistently in the middle of the round. Anyway, the first couple of picks went as you would expect with A-Rod and Jose Reyes coming off the board. I decided to go with J-Roll over Albert Pujols based on the reports about Pujols's arm and the odds that it will explode at some point this season. I had my sights set on some other players for my next pick and they all came off the board in short order. By the time the draft came back to me I had to reach and take a third baseman (Ryan Braun) because third basemen were getting picked off and I didn't really feel like having to start Hank Blalock over there. More picks were made, and each one was stranger than the next. There was actually someone (an Indian's homer so he says, but I've seen him go into a full depression over a Boston loss which leads me to believe he's an Indians fan so long as they are playing well) who took Grady Sizemore with his first pick and Travis Hafner with his second.

Just to give you an idea of some oddities about this draft, Manny Ramirez lasted until the 5th round (I would have taken him myself but I feel dirty using Boston players), Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens were drafted, one team ended up with Santana, Peavy, Sabathia, Webb, and Bedard. I wound up with both Braun (who will eventually be listed as an outfielder) and Ryan Zimmerman and also wound up with a horrific pitching staff that includes Pedro Martinez, Adam Wainwright, and Randy Johnson (along with Aaron Harang, Mark Buhrle and Carlos Zambrano) I also took Joba Chamberlain with an eye on him possibly starting during the second half of the season or if there's an injury to a member of the Yankee starting staff. In fact, here's my team:
C - Posada
1b - Adrian Gonzalez
2b - Brandon Phillips
ss - J-Roll
3b - Braun (until he gets his OF listing)
OF - Damon, Sheffield, Cuddyer
Util - Thome
Bench - Zimmerman, Justin Upton, Chris Duncan, Giambi
SP - Harang, Zambrano, Buhrle, Pedro, Wainwright, Big Unit, Micah Owings
RP - Joba, Mo Rivera, Kerry Wood (he's one of my sleepers - in fact he, Owings and Wainwright are guys who I have big hopes for. No I really do, I swear I'm not just saying that to prevent myself from crying as I type this....

Anyway, so as the draft is going on and I'm starting to get confused by picks I called one of my buddies - his team name is "My Fiance Keeps My Nuts in Her Purse" and asked why in the world he would draft Derek Jeter in the 3rd round - his response "I'm letting the computer pick for me, we have the neighbors over for wine and cheese" I threw up in my mouth. I called another guy later on, to find out what the blue blazes he was doing - turns out his wife told him that she would kill him if he did the draft becuase she is so pregnant she might pop and so he was running out to the car every five minutes to call in his picks and got confused.

Anyway, the moral, as always, is when your friends get married, it is time to get new friends. I have to go now, my girlfriend is on the phone....saaaaavvvveeee me!