Utah.


Mormons, Great Salt Lake, skiing, snowboarding and Big Love in the air.

                                                  

...Unless you're Laker and former Jazz player Derek Fisher.
He got a healthy taste of Jazzy love during a playoff game in 2008.


It seems Los Angeles isn't the only place to find jerks, although our ratio may be slightly higher than the national average. Classless fans are everywhere...even in Utah.
For those who don't know, Derek Fisher was kindly let out of his contract by Jazz management to seek treatment for his young daughter Tatum's eye condition called retinoblastoma, a degenerative and rare form of eye cancer. After being released, he re-signed with the Lakers as a free agent, which was not taken too kindly by some Jazz fans.

The Jazz are a class organization...I've always thought the Jazz and the Lakers would be better suited to switch nicknames given the proximity of Great Salt Lake. We don't really have too many real lakes in the LA area...not one's without a concrete bottom anyway. John Stockton may be one of the most under-appreciated players of the modern era. I actually pattern my game after his.
                                                      
Karl Malone was a scoring machine and won my heart as a player when he joined the Lakers for that one ill fated season with Gary Payton. That Lakers squad might have beaten Detroit in the Finals if Karl hadn't gotten hurt. Maybe if The Mailman had better taste in beverages, the Lakers would have another banner hanging at Staples. Beer brand matters.
                                                 
The Jazz have had a number of good players throughout the years: Jeff Malone, Jeff Hornacek, Thurl Bailey, Mark Eaton, Greg Ostertag (just kidding). Jerry Sloan has been the head coach since the Reagan administration and is one of the best coaches in the NBA, but looks as weathered as a retired pornstar.
                

The current roster is loaded with talent, starting with point guard Deron Williams and power foward Carlos Boozer, both of whom were on the Olympic team in Beijing this summer. Boozer wouldn't be there except for the fact that KG and Tim Duncan decided to sit it out this time around. D-Will is right there with Chris Paul as the best PG in the league right now in my opinion, I always look foward to seeing the Jazz because I like watching this kid play, but what's with his hair? Boozer was rumored to be coming to LA for years until our frontcourt problem was Gasolved last season. There may be a small family of birds nesting in Carlos' eyebrows, though I can't prove it.

         

Add in the mad Russian Andrei Kirilenko #47 (who has a pretty cool nickname in AK-47...he is married to a Russian pop star who...get this...allows him one chance to cheat on her every year...it seems poligamy is contagious)

In an interview with ESPN Magazine, Utah Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko's wife, former Russian "pop star" Masha Lopatova, says that she allots her husband one free groupie a year. Yep. To quote:

"What's forbidden is always desirable. And athletes, particularly men, are susceptible to all the things they are offered," Lopatova said. "It's the same way raising children - If I tell my child, 'No pizza, no pizza, no pizza,' what does he want more than anything? Pizza."

Thus, since there's so much pizza available on the road in the NBA, she says as long as she knows about it, it's OK. Kirilenko, for his part, knew nothing about the arrangement. "I'm not planning to do anything," he said, before rushing out the door, removing his belt and yelling, "OK, Mormons ... come get some!"

 ...and then there's sharpshooting chipmunk Mehmet Okur : Eastern Promises anyone?
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Since getting Ashton Kutcher look-alike and 3 point bomber Kyle Korver from Philly in a mid-season trade, the Jazz have looked like contenders. But they've been there before and have never closed the deal. The Stockton/Malone Jazz team lost twice to his Airness and the Bulls in the late 90's.
 
They also have CJ Miles who looks like he's eleven and hustle guy Paul Milsap and Ronnie Brewer, both players suprised me in the playoffs last year with their tenacity.

Let's not forget Matt Harpring,

he may look like a choirboy but he'll elbow you in the ribs every chance he gets, then cry to the ref when you retaliate...I'm not saying he's a dirty player, but I wouldn't hold it against those that do.
This may be the ugliest team in the association, but they can play ball.

I look for another Lakers victory, but I wouldn't be suprised to see the Jazz make a game of it either...Maybe my daughter will be interested in this game too. Last year the stars of High School Musical sat courtside at a Jazz game...
                         
Oh yeah, this little minx  emailed nekked pics of herself over the internet to him...typical high schooler behavior these days right?

I guess I shouldn't throw stones, the Lakers have Fletch and David Arquette crowding me courtside from time to time...how the ---- did this clown get Courtney Cox??


Money and fame are the best aphrodisiacs I suppose...
...not that I would ever indulge in such debauchery.



Enjoy the game.